Two Roads Diverged (An Ode to Frost)

No, this isn’t about his poem but ever since I read these lines I haven’t been able to get them out of my head:

Two roads diverged in a wood, and I – I took the one less traveled by, and that has made all the difference.

It’s easier and far more predictable to keep it safe, to cast your dreams on the sideline and live your life based on the expectations of others. To work a nine to five job, because it’s the normal thing to do, your parents have expectations and it’s a steady paycheck. Who knows? You might even start enjoying what you do and that’s no crime; it’s inevitable. Do something long enough and you’ll live to both love it and hate it; it may not make your spirits soar every time, but it’s sure to do something for you: give you a sense of entitled accomplishment.

Being on your own, following through with the grand dreams you have in your mind isn’t easy. And there are times when, just to make ends meet, you’ll pick up the odd job or two in order to get where you need to be. There are no maps that can help guide you, no tour guide to tell you when you’re doing something wrong, because this is your journey and it’s a new path, one that few ever tread. Why? Because it’s hard and unless you don’t have something to deeply believe in, there is no guarantee that you will ever accomplish everything you need to, in order to look back and say I did that. I did that.

There are things in my future and my future is very visibly tied into the future of the Desi Writers Lounge. Getting it out there is more than just getting myself out there, it’s putting into print the work of all of us and thereby making the “dream” of a collective group of people, a reality. You see, doing the things we do isn’t just about us it’s about giving voice to others like us, who don’t know that there exists a place that not only allows, but encourages freedom of creative thought and expression. We are at the point now, that our work must mean something. It must say something, because we are the generation that will carry the words of our country, our beliefs, our ideals forward. We are the future whether we care to usurp that burden or not.

I would like to believe that spreading literary awareness is not a lone voice in the darkness; that our audience is capable for more than just idle laughter; that our talented writers out there can paint a better picture than the generations that have gone before; that our work defies the established rule that only if you know someone, can you get somewhere; that true theater isn’t dead because the directors and writers are too petrified to pick up bolder, less light material; that our theater industry is a Broadway waiting to take flight; that there are others like us out there waiting to have their words heard. We are a group focused on writing, that has always been our raison d'être and will continue being so.

We hope to launch a literary journal, the first of its kind in Pakistan and as God as my witness, it will happen. So will the creative writing workshops and the playwriting competition and an anthology of the best material we have ever published. This will all come to pass. Why? Because I believe and I will do everything in my power and beyond, to get there.

Yes, I’m going to take the road less traveled.

Yes, it will make all the difference.

Religious Beliefs vs Free Speech

A couple days ago, I had a rather interesting encounter concerning what the "appropriate" word for an English speaking Pakistani-Muslim is, regarding what can be said as an expression of irritation or frustration. Yes, I know. My response followed something along the lines of anger, irritation, and a specialized brand of liquid evil known simply as MP. I retaliated, I wrote back that it was simply not up for judgment.

The real thing that bugged me though was the sheer assumption that this self-important individual made on my faith. My belief was attacked with the words "are you a Muslim? Because if so, you shouldn't use this word and instead use this one". Since when have we started limiting ourselves to what we can or cannot say, what is deemed "morally" acceptable based on what we conceive to be religious "standards" and then tie that into an absence or reconfirmation of one's religious beliefs? For starters, religion is personal. It is. It's the most personal thing out there. Your relationship with God is even more sacrosanct, so who are we to judge anyone else?

I used to be this person. A long time ago. I used to think it was up to me to "change" people, to convert them towards my process of thought, which if you're brought up in a neo-conservative household like I was, is the "right" process of thought. The world's a complicated place with complicated people who aren't always going to agree with you, or see eye to eye. That doesn't mean you ram your beliefs down their throats because that isn't going to get you anywhere except maybe a lot of hate mail.

Throughout the generations, the prophets of different religions have been tolerant, accepting of others, and their beliefs, leading by example and not preaching unless they couldn't back it up. A preacher's words are hollow; they always are because those who seek to change others don't do it through empty words or threats or dangling fear before the victim's eyes; they do it through action. They become an example.

I'm a largely private individual, my public rants notwithstanding and I don't appreciate my personal beliefs being judged or gauged by strangers. I don't appreciate it.

So in this argument of religious beliefs vs free speech, you have to realize that a religious belief is freedom of thought and speech. Everything is interconnected.

And because I'm too tired to expand on this further, I'll leave it at that.

Goodnight!

History Repeating

I think lineages are important; I think it's important to remember where we came from to get a better understanding of where we're going. As much as Desi Writers Lounge has grown over the past five years, it's still important to remember that the one who started it, who brought on a bulk of its members who we now deem the "old school desi writers" which includes myself, wasn't me. It was Sana Sabir. She was the originator of the community; she started it and our story on DWL's page; the time-line illustration whenever our graphic designer's done with it, will hopefully remember our roots.

Everyone tells me to not celebrate DW's birthday along with DWL's but I can't help it; before DWL ever came into existence, there was the Desi Writers Community that brought us all together. Celebrating August 4 isn't about celebrating the old community; it's celebrating the connections, relationships and people who/that were made that day. It's an important remembrance of who we were, where we started and where we ended up.

History's important; is it so wrong to believe that?

Mommy Always Said "Don't Talk to Strangers"

There is a certain beauty in talking to strangers; this innate need to unburden yourself to somebody you'll never see, meet or hear from ever again. Towards there are no repercussions, no fallout; it's a false safety net. The world's a small place and inevitably, something that you said to someone, somewhere in time will actually start to matter at some point in your life.

I've grown to believe now that it may be important, incumbent even to be reticent in public especially on the blogosphere. I used to be, once not so very long ago. But there's a pull, that gravitational need mentioned above; it tends to cloud your judgment sometimes. And I suppose mingled in there, is the inherent need to belong that is a part of human nature: we are repulsed by loneliness and solitude, even when we seek it out either because we're afraid to be alone, or we're afraid of what others would do without us if we tended to our lone wolf sensibilities once too often. We allow ourselves to be swayed by the tides and when suddenly forced to pause and consider where the ocean's deposited us this time, scratch and wonder how life took this turn to begin with.

I am twenty four years old; I will be twenty five in just a few months and I am suddenly petrified that by the time I hit thirty, I will not have done something meaningful with my life. Something bigger than myself, my needs, my propensities; something which can take into account the needs of others; the desires, the wishes, the dreams. Desi Writers Lounge has always been that vehicle for me, and even if this whole application shindig turns out bad, there is that: the elusive dream. If I am to pursue this entirely, there will be financial investors, sponsors and what have you in our future; none of what we stand to prove can be done with five working individuals, without outside assistance.

Business cards, bookmarks, fliers and a revamped website seem to be an excellent investment from this vantage point.

And why, pray, am I discussing this on ye olde public sphere? There is an intoxication associated with not just writing, but writing and being read. If you want to know the feeling, google it. It seems you can google just about anything these days.

There are several quotes about the intoxication of writing; the need to let your thoughts air in the public conscience for a while. Who knows? Maybe you'll take them down, but you can do so with the air of of satisfaction knowing that perhaps one person read and understood.

So I'll keep talking to strangers, because one day the voice that may bounce back may just be the answer I've been searching for.

Pieces of Us

The problem with twitter is that it's undefined. Nobody knows exactly what category to box it under. There's been a lot of bagging, but not a lot of tagging and it bugs me a little. I confess: I'm organized; I like being able to vaguely understand something.

On an entirely unrelated note: I just realized how amazingly spacious my laptop is. I'm serious. It's a very comfortable, roomy machine. Don't regret buying this heavenly machine for a moment.

Back on topic: when you're walking in unchartered territory, there's a certain sense of freefall associated with it, particularly what the socially acceptable things to do are. What questions are acceptable, even somewhat expected and what others aren't? Despite everything I do and say on this public space, I'm a stickler for propriety. Well, no, not necessarily a stickler. I guess I respect people with boundaries, online or off, because I have boundaries. Things I simply don't say, ask or tell, no matter how relentless the push from the opposite side may be. I simply don't believe in divulging too much, on a more personal level.

Maybe that's a little hypocritical of me, but I think we're all a little hypocritical inside. There's always a push and pull raging on within us, it's what makes the process of discovery so endlessly fascinating. I don't know. I think it's the complications within us that define who we are, that define how much we're willing to learn about others. Think about it: if we were all simple, simplistically simple human beings with no complex emotions, thoughts, behavior or characters, we'd be like the animals we see all around us. Cats are relatively uncomplicated creatures, like all animals. They want love, like to be petted, fed, pooped and they like their rest. That's all. Ditto for dogs; except for the exercise. Cats are lazy; dogs aren't so much. But the point is: it's the complications that define us as human beings. Don't get me wrong: I'm not fascinated with complexity or anything; it's the very idea of human nature that fascinates me. It's what drives me to write what I do.

There is no political or social reason for which I write; there is a political cause for my writing, absolutely but not in the primary definition of the word. There is a reason that I write that goes beyond simple fascination with the world I've grown up in. I do believe there are social injustices, but I also believe a lot of them are committed using religion as the totem pole, and I think that has to change. Religion is a personal thing, absolutely, but I also believe for it to be personal it has to be understood, it has to be portrayed in a light where believing isn't an act of conformity, it's a personal choice. And it's not right now, as much as we would like to believe it is, it's not. You are judged in a certain way if you choose to have faith; just like you're judged in a certain way if you're not. My beef with the current set up is: it's not our place to say anything either way, or behave in a certain way. It's simply not up to us.

Oh it's a much larger, complicated argument than the one I've provided above, but suffice to say I'd like to pursue philosophy and religion as subjects that could help my work. And by religion, I don't mean simply reading idle tales of sectarian divides, I mean actually immersing myself in the culture and religion that's not my own. I think it's when you question everything that you discover something, instead of having beliefs handed down to you like a sacred heirloom; it's up to you to earn it and make it yours. I think being born into a Muslim family is both a blessing and a terrible curse, because it removes your objectivity. Your ability to see outside of your own faith, and have the open mind required to look into the hearts and minds of others, and see pieces of you staring back.

Jewel had it right.

Full Circle

One of the problems with living and studying in the basement, particularly when the two intertwine, is that you can never tell what day it is. Days, nights, all blur together so you're drifting from one day to the next. The only thing really keeping you sane is the fact that each day that passes brings you closer to D-Day.

A friend gave me the soundest advice I needed to see things with clarity: don't second guess yourself, because if you go there, it's the beginning of the end. Ask too many people and you'll get way too many different answers, leaving your gut lying somewhere in the gutter, the pits of your stomach dropping down into its depths. So I'm taking his advice, sticking to my gut. I'm already wound up too tight as it is.

Meanwhile, the new version and (apparently) much talked about new design for Desi Writers Lounge went up Thursday night. Apparently, the INK issue that we're supposed to be featured in (no absolute confirmations on that; there were some behind the doors issues, or something) is coming out on Nov 7, instead of Oct 28. No idea why it's been pushed back, but I get it. I've been through the same thing, but ours is a much smaller outfit, which is something I'm looking to change. Which reminds me, I was supposed to send our profile to Tajdar O to chart a course for branding opportunities. It's done now.

Desi Writers Lounge is a place with a ton of potential; there's so much still to do here and whether or not I get into the MFA, I still have big plans for this place. In the end, the goal will always be the same: I would prefer being able to focus exclusively on my writing along with learning the craft of teaching creative writing, so I can come back and put that knowledge into good use, but what I really want is the devoted time and focus towards what I love most. To be able to exist for 2-3 years as a writer, while the rest of the world takes a back seat; to live in that bubble for a while and come back a better individual and writer for it. I can't even begin to imagine the experience of being immersed into the literary world, being surrounded by other writers, taking internships and serving as part of staff on the literary journals often run by MFA students. The entire package is amazing. All of it, it's amazing.

My stomach's empty. Literally empty. I just awoke to the fact now, which is just so typical in my case, it's sad I haven't tweaked that part of me yet. If I do end up making it a couple thousand miles away, I'll need to remember to eat.

Antitrust Got It Wrong

Bill Gates isn’t as savvy as Tim Robbins, whose Gary Winston and CEO of Synapse, was supposedly modeled after Gates and Microsoft. Secondly, Microsoft has clearly not dominated the world; they have made it a more interesting one however.

A couple of days ago, I saw The Pirates of Silicon Valley which was an unauthorized biography of Microsoft and Apple’s stories, how their paths crossed and what their relationship is currently. The movie was made in 1999, well before Apple brought out its iPod, iPhone, macbooks etc; and well before the world watched as Jobs transformed the company from one at the brink of failure to the mega conglomerate that it is today.

I’ve also been reading Malcolm Gladwell’s recent book, Outliers which states that the conventional ways we view success as are fallacies, and that the real truth is: although talent and passion have something to do with a person’s success rate, it’s also the preparation it takes to get there. What factors into that preparation? Such (seemingly) trivial things as when a person was born, where said individual was born when the events that contributed to the individual’s success occurred, what opportunities came their way, like early education, experience, and above everything else: how much effort they put into the whole thing. As “breakthrough” as this form of thought may be, Edison hit it a long time ago when he said Genius is 1% inspiration, and 99% perspiration. Everyone knows that it takes blood and sweat to get anywhere in life; the point of Outliers is not to belie that, but to add to it.

Like Gladwell’s other books, it makes for interesting reading.

Another book I’m reading is Blue Ocean Strategy (How To Make Competition Irrelevant), which is a little more technical reading. Both of these books I downloaded as PDF ebooks, which just goes to show that as much as we despise their electronic counterparts, Amazon’s Kindle (and now Barnes & Noble's Nook) really was a stroke of genius. Because after all, for book lovers, it’s not just that you’re carrying one book with you…it’s that you’re carrying an entire library of them! That was intelligent foresight on their part, and as we move progressively into the next stage of literary production, ebooks will probably become far more prevalent and permanent than they are now.

God, I love technology! There’s so much happening that at times, it takes your breath away. The good thing about Desi Writers Lounge and similar outfits, is that it combines both the artistic and logical sides under one roof, although most outfits either don’t offer online creative writing forums and/or literary magazines. So we, interestingly, are in a blue ocean: a place that doesn’t exist yet, except for what we’ve created. It’s odd then, that we don’t have more traction than what exists currently.

Part of the reason for the above, I have to assume, is because we haven’t been feeding our stories and our website to outside news sources, besides getting the occasional blog coverage (Green & White did something on us, about a year ago, and the new issue of INK is supposed to have a full spread on us). So we really have to start pimping ourselves out a little, to get more mainstream spotlights on who we are, because in our case, we’ve been fortunate to have more than just one or two people running the show, and the knowledge that should the main head honcho step down, there will be others to step up for that time. The reason I bring this up is because I tried accessing tgk’s website the other day, and was redirected to The Green Life’s blog, which is just a blog but it’s apparent that they’ve lost the domain to someone else, because it didn’t redirect to a parked domain name page. That name is gone. The reason that the editors and owners of The Green Kaleidoscope removed it from the web, was because they were pursuing their graduate degrees and wouldn’t have the time to supervise. One year out of the spotlight is a long time, so time will tell what the reaction is going to be when they come back. They have a different approach to things than we do, and in essentials aren’t really our competition because they just have the online magazine, which they edit, there’s no process for writer discretion or working with the authors to edit a piece; so there’s no quality control whatsoever except the opinions of two individuals and that too, focused on particular aspects of Pakistan whereas our writers are not necessarily of Pakistani origin, but span the South Asian diaspora.

So while their market is a very niche one, much of their focus is on non-fiction, while most if not all of ours, is on creative writing and everything that that entails.

But one thing is certain: people do need to find out about us, what we do, how we can help fledgling and serious writers, so that we can get to the broader goals of our organization more successfully. And this along with working towards self-sustainment (which goes hand in hand with the above), is what the next few months will be devoted to, along with possibly saving a cafe from imminent destruction.

Meanwhile, and on an entirely unrelated topic to the above, but not to this post, I’m watching an exceedingly interesting interview that features both Apple’s Steve Jobs and Microsoft’s Bill Gates in a joint interview, held by The Washington Post in 2007. You can check that out here. It’s an 11 part compendium.

I realize I promised that there wouldn’t be any new entries but for now, this blog is the one thing that’s helping me from losing my sanity. GRE prep isn’t easy; well, no it’s not that hard either especially since Math is steadily being eliminated as the threat I construed it to be, and shifting itself to Verbal and the mountain of words I have to rememorize/learn. But what it most requires is diligent focus which sometimes wavers. So, if I have to be doing something else, writing in this blog will have to be my only distraction.

Wish me luck!