I am god.

There is something seductive in watching someone you know fall to pieces, have their world come crashing around them; just as you feel the need to throw out a helping hand, have the desire to create some sort of safety net for them, a part of you relishes their downfall with sadistic glee. This isn't real life I'm talking about naturally: I'm talking about writing your characters. If you create an individual, a person and have absolutely nothing happen to them, why write at all? You write because there is a story to be told, not about random people living their lives without any conflict. Conflict is what makes a story compelling. In my case, I have perfectly lovely people--you'd like to be friends with them--have what seems to them, catastrophic events unfolding. The protagonist of the novel I'm writing (and hope to finish within the next several months: if I proceed with my daily writing, this will happen God Willing) has been rewritten, her backstory hashed out and I like her. She has flaws but she is also likable: you see her struggles, you see what she's trying to cope with and you also know that there is a deeper something here that's just out of reach. She's a Good Girl, and those capitals fascinate me already. You see, I want to see her unravel; I want to see her go down and try to find her way out; I want to see her fail, get up, try, fail again and see how she handles herself, see what really makes her tick, challenge her as an individual. I am God.

And the entire process fascinates me, writing it is like this intricate dance: I don't want to make it too complicated but it can't be simple either. Having no knowledge of the types of dances out there, I can only say that writing this novel is somewhere between a tango and a waltz knowing that there is a widely different tempo to both.

I love writing. I really, really do. I don't always like it when things aren't going my way or my work's getting a beating, but I know that I'm going to come back to it: always, always return to it because I truly love what I do. I cherish the highs and while anticipating the lows, hope I've lived them down only to realize disappointment. Life as a writer is a constant series of ups and downs. You do it because you love the end result and the journey to get there is worth the tremendous effort. What separates a person who can write from a writer? Sheer discipline. The sheer desire to see the task to its completion. The capacity to be able to do whatever it takes to get it out of you, to cage or unleash the monster: whatever way you'd like to look at it. And to never, ever, give up. 

It's like Ray Bradbury says: if you're passionate about something, you'll get up everyday to return to it and if you don't have something in your life that makes you feel that way, you'd better find something that does.

You'll thank yourself for it.